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Odyssey

by Optimist

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1.
Comatose 01:15
2.
Pressure 04:13
We've walked along this path that has given us our names, a picture painted perfectly, the brush upon our dreams. "Higher than the mountains we will soar," a promise embedded and never left behind. It's getting so hard to follow through; it takes everything out of me. And as time passes by we're all flooded by the thoughts inside our heads that scream, "You better get out if you can't take the pressure!" We gave this our everything, dragged down by responsibility. It's getting harder to believe. No, I won't heed. It always gets the best of me. This doubt is crushing me. (Is this even where I want to be?) Through all the things that held me down and the wrinkles on my brow, I thought I would be somewhere else by now. I know it's just part of it, I'm just scared of fading away. Does anyone have faith in me? That's all I really need... We are here for so much more than withering and growing old. We will overcome the world and take to the skies. Tonight we come alive. We come alive and together we will take to the skies. We will thrive. I refuse to let this hold me down. I'm never going back. So I will face myself and bring this all to an end. I will see this through.
3.
Consumed by the beast! Let's end this for good and don't you dare hold anything back. There's not a thing I can't conquer when my heart is set. I swear to god this time I won't be ignored 'cause I've been waiting on so much more. So do your worst. I've been ready for this and there's nothing that could make me turn my back. I will be everything that you said I wouldn't be. It feels like it's almost over. I gave my life for the things I love 'cause is everything to me. I've never been reaching out so high to try and take everything that is mine. This is everything to me; that must mean something... Everyday I'm in the face of devourment and I can't help but feel that I'm slowly sinking deeper and deeper until my lungs feel weak. It keeps pulling me under and keeps getting colder. I cannot feel a thing but I can still see the surface so I will not be dragged in the deep, even if swallowed alive. So give me all you've got. I will fight forever. This is the world that I have dreamed of. I gave my life for the things I love, 'cause this is everything to me. I've never felt so alive. This time I finally have what's mine. This is everything to me. That must mean something... That's something you can't take from me.
4.
Indignation 02:51
I've seen the worst of my own kind acting like they're justified in a world of counterfeit. It's all so fake, everything they spit out, to convince themselves of ascendancy. They’re so pretentious and it makes me sick. You bring the worst out of me! You don’t deserve a fucking thing. I will watch as you become washed up on the shallow shores you tread. I refuse to drown and become cold, so I will swim into the sunset where the world is just like me, even if I have to stand alone. I cannot conform to what you are, so I will be my own. I won’t be swayed, I never have. Everything feels right here where I am and my heart hasn’t let me down just yet. I’d like to find a common place where you and I can separate this needless bitterness. But it works both ways. You are the agitator. You bring all of it back. You bring it all back!
5.
Parallels 03:53
It always seems that it doesn't even matter how hard I fucking try 'cause everything just falls apart when I have the best in mind. Progressively I feel everything that I've been taught was based on a hope falsified by an avaricious world, so I will find my own way. This will be the worst part of it all, but I don't know if it's worth it. Right now the strongest part of me wants to run away, but I am terrified of failure. I don't deserve this. I've given everything only to find there's nothing but uncertainty shrouding these places that always kept me safe. I cannot let this be. It was never enough to just be content 'cause I never got back anything that I would give. It seems that everyone else has it all figured out and I still don't even know how to shake this doubt. So I'll stand and scream and let my soul sing while the world just laughs and takes every damn thing and they'll keep on asking what about them... But what about me? I am holding onto the thinnest lines I've drawn. I've seen it: the seamless. Even though I've never been so weak and I'm trapped in this fucking mess of me, I will not let this be. I'll tear down this foundation and build a world all my own.
6.
Safe Haven 04:13
I've been living to try and play a part in my life of something much greater than myself. I would aim much higher than the rest and believed it the only way to be significant. But with time, I've grown and come to see that everything I will ever need is right here in my own reach. So I will remain in this place, so indispensable. This is our chance to take it all as we reach from the bottom. From the outside they will long for all that we have. We will stay here forever. I regret not seeing for myself the potential in what we've had before this. But I know now and there's nothing that will cease my endeavors to keeping this alive. (I'm not fading out like this.) Can you see everything that I need is right here in front of me? Can't you fucking see this is what sets me free? And I still believe "We won't die." I won't lose sight again. This is our chance to take it all as we reach from the bottom. From the outside they will long for all that we have. We will stay here forever. This is our chance to take it all. We will stay here forever. We've been home all along.
7.
Drifting 01:14
8.
Off White 03:51
The times are changing for you and I. That shine in your eye has faded to an off-white. Your heart of gold has rusted over into a faded shade of rose. Everything you've ever touched has been worn into stone. And I'm so cold... After all we've made I'm still falling away and you were never there to catch me. Too heavy to hold as I wade into stone. I can't run anymore, just erode. I made my place of safety and peace captured in your arms. But I slipped as comfort and content hardened our hearts. (You let me go) You let me go and you watched me fall. You said we would get through it if I gave it all. But you gave nothing back and watched my world die. Every tree whithering under a crimson sky. You were all mine. I was so blind. It's never been so hard to leave it all behind. I'll be okay if I can fall forever. We're both statues, so let's rot together. After all we've made I'm still falling away and you were never there to catch me. Too heavy to hold as I wade into stone. I can't run anymore, just erode. I'm stone. Just let me shatter.
9.
Brevity 05:10
This can't be it, you can't be gone. You never even knew my heart at all. You left us all and took the sun, but your life will always shine. I need to know you can hear me. These moments are empty. I need to know know we're okay... I can't take back all these things I said to you. I was wrong to hold this beneath all else, but I swear I sheltered a lasting love. All I want is to see you again... I put a selfish heart in between us. I've lost the chance to bring this together. You left me here with so much to say. I know I'm far too late but if it means anything, I'm sorry for falling. Nothing here will heal these wounds but to see you face to face. I need to know you can hear me. These moments are empty. I need to know we're okay... Save me a place next to you again. I will see you soon.
10.
Passage 01:12
11.
Absolution 04:33
What is this void that I’ve come to feel, that I took to heart, residing so near? Feel these hands, the breath on your face, the breath that you stole, the heart that I gave. And I, I’ve made up my mind; return me the soul that helped to create mine! Gather the pieces severed by time, and rebirth desire that once gave us life. Just keep me close to you. Remember how it feels? You promised me, you promised me… No, don’t tell me that all that we had wasn’t gold! I bet you can’t say it again. I dare you to tell me again, but look me straight in my eye. Look me dead in my eye! How could I expect to keep it together when you’re the only one that ever did? I know we’re not perfect (it will never be worth it). Give me a good reason to let this go, ‘cause we’ve seen it all, said every word, all we have now is room left to grow. Soar with me and we’ll never look back again. We could defeat the world (defeat the world)! Don’t turn away! You say I’m the reason and I played my part so well. I know who I was, but that’s not who I am. I don’t believe in hopelessness, but I do believe in what we possess. Now I profess, I will not abandon you again… Now I know you think this won’t last long, but this always comes out wrong. We’ve been through the worst. (Can we still make this work?) I’m just not ready to lose you yet. I know I can’t make you stay, and this isn’t easy for me, but I promised you… I promised you! Let's never look back again. We will defeat the world…
12.
Odyssey 09:57
All my life I've been searching for a way to erase the lines I've drawn but my faith has been shattered and worn. Everything seems meaningless, everyone feels so distant and not a single thing makes any sense, but I know I'm wide awake and nothing has ever felt so real until now. I'm still so scared to death of what will happen next. I've never been as strong as I pretend I am. It's just so hard when uncertainty is my only trait of consistency. I'm faced with so much I don't understand, still finding my way to who I am. Sometimes I feel that I'm still wrong and that there is nothing left for me, but I always remember that this is where I need to be. I know who I am. I know where I stand. I know where I am. I am home.

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released June 14, 2013

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Optimist Statesboro, Georgia

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